So like they say it’s all fun and games until someone dies of starvation. My head is fuzzy, concentration is nil, and my hand, eye, ear, co-ordination is at an all time low. The room was spinning when I woke up this morning, (no I didn’t have too many vodkas) it was before 10am so that could be the answer to that conundrum. Today I decided to take the whole drink as much water as you possibly can, to the max. I nearly drowned, and despite what everyone says water does not fill you up, because of its blandness it simply reminds you of how good food tastes.

I had my trusty orange for breakfast it is now what I look forward to (how sad is that) then of course came ‘The Shake’. I know I keep going on about how awful they are but I feel like I have been wronged. I have been lured into this diet under false pretences; they told me that these shakes were delicious. Yet every time I shake the powder out of the sachet I want to vomit and then I am actually expected to drink one of these things. On the box they could have put me wide and said ‘tastes like sour milk’ or ‘throwing up in your own mouth’. They definitely should have a warning too, ‘shakes may cause you to dry wretch’ or ‘in extreme cases, shakes may lead to death.’

I spent most of today lolling on the coach repeatedly saying I can’t feel my legs Sal, and then an awful thing happened. Do you ever wonder why god gave you siblings? Today my sister (The fitness Nazi) held me hostage in her car and drove me to a spinning class. I really don’t know why no one helped me, we were stopped in traffic for a good ten minutes and I was screaming hysterically out of the window, my eyes were pleading and my wails were clearly audible to the five cars behind us. ‘It is going to be fun I promise, imagine how much better you will feel after’ at this stage I knew I was hallucinating, she cannot be serious do you know what I have had to eat today?

I wondered how awful would it be to try and smother your own sister. I was sure I had some strength left. Unfortunately I found myself on a spinning bike. I do not know how I got through that hour it must have been the will of god and I will thank him every day for the rest of my life for giving me the strength and the courage to keep on going, even when I thought all was lost and that I could not go on, Jesus my saviour, I love you.

Day four is now coming to a close so please excuse me as I am now off to dream of some giant cookies, and hopefully I will have a date with a gingerbread man, love those gum drops.