Ok so today I thought I was done, I was ready to put the shake down and admit defeat. I sat hunched in the dark the curtains pulled, rocking myself back and forth, back and forth, every now and again breaking into hysterical laughter. I was on the edge. I had acquired a violent twitch, I had began to break out in cold sweats and my speech was slurred. The withdraw symptoms had kicked in. My body was beginning to realise that it was not going to be getting sugar anytime soon. My dreams of ginger bread men could not help me now, sugarless and alone, I was living a nightmare.

I decided to let the darkness of my room engulf me (I was feeling really sorry for myself at this stage). Thinking that some light entertainment might take my mind of things I switched on the TV. There was nothing that could have prepared me for the following events. I was bombarded with a series of graphic and disturbing images. Happy families with blonde haired blue eyed children smiled menacingly, as they clutched their KFC buckets, filled to the brim with greasy chicken. Visibly distraught I flicked the channel only to see couples hand in hand skipping to their nearest branch of Mc Donald’s and Pizza Hut.

I looked at my banana flavoured shake with disgust and knew the end was near. I was traumatised, I needed my fix. My mam had done a pretty good job of hiding basically all of the food in my house, but my capabilities should never be underestimated. Dazed and confused I frantically searched for any remnants of solid food. If I was a bar of chocolate where would I be? Think, come on you can do this, under the couch? no too obvious, in the washing machine? no too wet. Two hours later I sat alone stroking a bar of Cadburys chocolate, which had been hidden in a box of waffles in the freezer, (amateur).

I began to think of all the fun we had had together, I reflected on the relationship we once had, everything was great at first I felt happy and fulfilled. ‘You made me feel special, until you chose to make me fat’, I was shouting at this stage and that was when I knew that the madness had to stop. Mid rant my mam walked in and ordered me to back away from the chocolate, ‘Denise we can work things out, things don’t have to end like this’, and for once I knew she was right. I turned my back on that bar of chocolate, knowing that I could never look back.